On The Page: "Flux"

"Flux: Women on Sex, Work, Love, Kids, and Life in a Half-Changed World" by Peggy Orenstein (2001)

Along with Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher, Peggy Orenstein's first book, Schoolgirls: Young Women, Self Esteem, and the Confidence Gap brought to the forefront of public discourse the plague of low self esteem amongst teenage girls in the United States. For both my mother and I, these books were important parts of finding our way around the landmines of my adolescence. (I think many parents read these book and don't think about giving them to their kids, but for us they were great conversation starters and a wonderful way for me to identify some of my own patterns). Perhaps the most widely discussed finding of both Pipher and Orenstein was the discovery that the "confidence drop" for adolescent girls came before the "competence drop." It had previously be assumed that girls' failures in science and math, for example, added to their low self esteem and lack of faith in academic abilities. Instead, both authors found, it was a lack of confidence in their abilities that led to a drop in grades and interest in school. As a young girl who had excelled in school her whole life, this resonated with me as a then-teenager who was berated by my math teacher almost daily.

It seems that Orenstein's interests are growing along with me. Her recent book, Flux, addresses the complicated choices that face women in their 20's, 30's and 40's and the never-ending quest to "have it all." Facing similar dilemmas in my own life - choosing a career, a life partner, the desire to have children - I was hoping the book could provide me with a sense of how other women grapple with these choices. Unfortunately there was little surprising inside - despite being raised with the belief we can have both a career and a family, as well as some vague sense of personal fulfilment, many women my age are still confused about how and why to do it....let alone if they can! The book was reassuring to read in the sense that "you are not alone" but also a bit depressing to hear how so many different, talented, successful women are struggling...and failing! Nonetheless, there are interesting observations by some of the women and I think it's an important book for everyone to read - including men, employers, and family members. If there is one point of the book I would say it is this: these are not "women's issues"!