Hook Up

Obviously I've been a neglectful blogger.... I guess that comes along with the move, new job, and, most importantly, the holiday season.  I do love the holidays.  This has been my first holiday season as a Miami resident, and I'm so excited that I get to have both the Florida experience and the family Oregon experience.  We head west on Monday and I'm so excited!  As usual, I think I've gone overboard with stocking stuffers (many of which I anticipate not fitting into stockings) but I can't help it!  Buying gifts for those I  love is one of my favorite activities.  OK, and I've bought a few things for my self as well....bad Shorty, bad!

I thought this was really interesting: Obama logo ideas that weren't chosen.

A friend of mine from OR (now another Boston resident!) is studying and working towards the goal of being the coolest high school librarian ever.  And this is her blog!  Reading it makes me miss all the favorite books  of my childhood and adolescent, and makes me jealous of all the kids that will benefit from having her around.  Check out Mad Snarky Librarian.

In looking for different perspectives on the "Miami experience" I came across Blogging Black Miami.  So far it's been a great source of news and info - I welcome any suggestions about other sources for learning about what's going on in Miami.

This article is getting a lot of discussion amongst both my friends and the news/blog media: The Demise of Dating.  I feel torn.  In some ways, I agree with the columnist that there isn't much dating (i.e. hanging out before becoming physically intimate with someone) going on, and that some things have been lost as a result - namely, monogamy.  I think more people are inclined to hook up with a variety of people at once before eventually - if ever - settling into a relationship with one of them.  This is in contrast to dating a few people without being physically intimate, and then choosing one of them to date seriously.  Also, I have heard absolute horror stories from my single friends - both female and male - about the lack of interest amongst potential partners in even having dinner or getting together one-on-one.  Everyone seems to want the safety of hanging out in a group, avoiding the word "date," and playing hard to get until neither person can even utter the words "Can I call you sometime?"

However, I also think this is the sort of article that gets written every 5 years, bemoaning "kids these days," and underestimating the emotional complexity of young people.  Also, while Mr. Blow's aim in looking at the gender iniquity is admirable, his conclusion is also overly simplistic.  He writes:

Girls get tired of hooking up because they want it to lead to a relationship (the guys don’t), and, as they get older, they start to realize that it’s not a good way to find a spouse. 

There are plenty of women who are happy with hooking up and are not looking for a relationship - we don't come out of the womb dreaming of a DeBeers ad-like proposal - and plenty of men who want to date as well.  This "women want a boyfriend, men want booty" is a pretty old paradigm and played out by now.   Also, there are plenty of people (and I'm sure there were in the 1960's and every other decade) who start dating via "hook up" and end up in a serious relationship with that person (disclaimer: one of them may be writing this blog).  It's not always so black and white as Mr. Blow suggests.  

Bottom line, dating is awkward, so is "hooking up," and relationships are always going to be complicated.  I think a better way to talk to young people about their sexual relationships would be to steer clear of sweeping generalizations that don't give them credit for emotional depth and be honest about the challenges and benefits of romantic relationships - regardless of what you call them. 

Final note: the best thing about The Sartorialist is that it allows me to people watch, from the comfort of my desk.  (See his Wikipedia entry!)  Worst part?  Then I look down at my own outfits and feel ashamed.  Seriously, who ARE these people?  Oh right, New Yorkers...

Note: what is a sartorialist?  Someone interested in sartorialism, of course.  Sartorialism = an interest in matters of or relating to the tailoring of clothing.  Now you know.