Eugene Marathon 2011

Well, it's finally here! In about an hour I'm hopping in the car with my parents (my mom, my stepdad, and my dad, who flew down from Alaska!) and we are driving up to Eugene. Today I'll be meeting up with my ladies at the Expo to get our race bibs (is that what they're called?) and check everything out. The race begins in almost exactly 23 hours! I'm still super nervous but, luckily, also getting excited. One of my bootcamp ladies (there are 6 of them running the half marathon tomorrow) sent around this poem/blessing, and it was just what I needed to calm my nerves and get in a good mindset:

May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith

in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have received,
and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content with yourself just the way you are.

Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom
to sing, dance, praise, and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.


See you all post-(my first) marathon!

Delta Spirit Go Vintage on The Zombies’ “She’s Not There”

More straight talk on street harassment.

Training: I had gotten excited about the marathon but now I'm just nervous and stressed. I went for a jog yesterday and didn't do anything today. Tomorrow is bootcamp. I'm just a bundle of nerves and it's not enjoyable. So much so that when I went to my acupuncturist today instead of doing the "endurance" treatment she had planned, she did an anti-stress and low energy treatment. Hoping it helps. It's definitely never been this bad before a race before.

Image: source.

Just heard this song on local public radio and liked it, Serena Ryder "Sweeping The Ashes"

"Thomas Roberts spoke with Josh Vandiver and Henry Velandia, a married binational same-sex couple facing a deportation hearing on May 6 about the need for immigration equality legislation and a stop to these kinds of deportations."

"The Terrible Bargain We Have Regretfully Struck"

Sorry for the huge quote but I was so struck by the truth and power of this piece. Long but worth the read.

"I don't hate men.

It would, however, be fair to say that I don't easily trust them.

My mistrust is not, as one might expect, primarily a result of the violent acts done on my body, nor the vicious humiliations done to my dignity. It is, instead, born of the multitude of mundane betrayals
that mark my every relationship with a man—the casual rape joke, the use of a female slur, the careless demonization of the feminine in everyday conversation, the accusations of overreaction, the eyerolling
and exasperated sighs in response to polite requests to please not use misogynist epithets in my presence or to please use non-gendered language ("humankind").

....This, then, is the terrible bargain we have regretfully struck: Men are allowed the easy comfort of their unexamined privilege, but my regard will always be shot through with a steely, anxious bolt of
caution.

A shitty bargain all around, really. But there it is.

There are men who will read this post and think, huffily, dismissively, that a person of color could write a post very much like this one about white people, about me. That's absolutely right. So could a lesbian, a gay man, a bisexual, an asexual. So could a trans or intersex person (which hardly makes a comprehensive list). I'm okay with that. I don't feel hated. I feel mistrusted—and I understand it; I respect it. It means, for me, I must be vigilant, must make myself trustworthy. Every day."

Listening to: Dawes, "My Way Back Home" Also, Daytrotters Best of 2010 (especially Caitlin Rose's "Own Side.")

Love it: a collection of essays that were rejected by Modern Love.

Image: source.

This Sunday the UCC national celebrates Immigrant Rights Sunday 2011, and provides some moving Liturgy and prayer materials.

Is depression actually good for you? Experts now believe that mild to moderate depression may be good for us – and even help us live longer. (thanks, PC)

Amy Poehler’s Awesome Time 100 Acceptance Speech: "When it was her turn to speak at the Time 100 Gala, she didn't pay homage in her speech to any of the usual suspects...Instead, she thanked the dedicated women who help take care of her children, allowing her to pursue the career she always wanted. She spoke for all working women 'that get to do what you get to do because there are wonderful people helping at home' saying, 'on behalf of every sister and mother and person who stands in your kitchen and helps you love your child, I say thank you — and I celebrate you tonight.'"

This totally got me teary. Youth taking charge! "Arizona's attempt to dismantle Tucson's ethnic studies program was dealt a blow Tuesday when students rose up and took over a school board meeting where a resolution to determine the fate of the program was up for discussion."

MA lawyers and law students, listen up: The Mass LGBTQ Bar is organizing lawyers and law students to sign a very simple petition in support of the Transgender Equal Rights Bill. The petition is online here. Please consider signing, and pass this along to other lawyers and law students in Massachusetts.

"This Moment" by Eavan Boland

A neighbourhood.
At dusk.

Things are getting ready
to happen
out of sight.

Stars and moths.
And rinds slanting around fruit.

But not yet.

One tree is black.
One window is yellow as butter.

A woman leans down to catch a child
who has run into her arms
this moment.

Stars rise.
Moths flutter.
Apples sweeten in the dark.

Love this song (Pete Yorn, "For Nancy (Cause It Already Is)"), it defintely made the marathon play list....

Looking forward to Friday's Fresh Air on the Freedom Riders.

Image: source.

Training: Great bike commute yesterday. Didn't got to bootcamp today, but planning on doing an hour in the pool after work.

Eeee! So excited: Eugene Marathon and Half Marathon: What to expect on race day

From Shambala Sun: k.d. lang talks “inner conflict” on the subject of meat eating.

“Every now and then I think about my own death, and I think about my own funeral. … Every now and then I ask myself, ‘What is it that I want said?’ I’d like somebody to mention that day, that Martin Luther King Jr., tried to give his life serving others. I’d like for somebody to say that day, that Martin Luther King Jr. tried to love somebody.” - Martin Luther King Jr.

Yes, yes yes yes: I Don’t Need Kathryn Stockett’s "Help." This book made me so uncomfortable and I cannot, for the life of me, understand it's success (except I guess the author of this piece perfectly explains it's success: "It's pretty simple: because these narratives allow white folks to feel good and satiates their guilt, while failing to challenge their racialized worldview.")

A review of some recent books about Ghandi and questions about his legacy.

Image: source.

Training: biked into work today, it was great, as always (and I've got it down to an hour even). Will bike home tonight (obviously) and either make it to Bikram (it might be too tight, time wise) or do Jillian Michaels in my living room. 5 days till Marathon Sunday!

"Activist, poet, mother, writer, Jewish woman, pacifist—it’s hard to pick what defined Grace Paley. Born in the Bronx in 1922, Paley went on to publish award winning works of poetry and fiction, to be an active member of both the anti-war and women’s movement, to teach writing at Sarah Lawrence, and used her poetry as a weapon well into her eighties."

I've seen a few bloggers recently who have made lists of "Goals For The Summer," or some variation, and, well, I love a list! Here goes:

1. Try some raw food recipes (I've always been curious about raw food but just figured it was too weird and I was too picky to try it. Well, I've gotten a lot better at cooking and trying new foods this past year, and I know that the less processed the food is, the better I feel so....I want to give raw foods a try.)

2. Do my first Half Ironman Triathlon (This is already on the calendar, Lake Stevens, WA, August 14th! I'm super nervous, especially about the swimming portion, but that's sort of why I'm doing it.)

3. Stick with Bikram Yoga twice a week, even though (or, because!) it's so hard for me (so hard).

4. Incorporate more vegan meals into my rotation (maybe go for a a few weeks - or month - totally vegan?)

5. Plan and plant my garden for the fall (so excited by the progress my tiny chard and kale and carrots are making!)

Image: source.

6. Run my first 50K (I know I haven't even completed my first marathon yet but....I'm crazy. It's already on the calendar - Siskiyou Out Back Trail Run, July 9th)

7. Bike my first century (Also already on the calendar - CASA's Ride Through Paradise, July 23rd. And it's raising money for a great cause!)

8. Plan a Fall trip down to San Francisco and/or LA (I have no money. But I love SF and I have loved ones in both cities and I want to get down to at least one of those cities in the coming year).

9. Follow through with this plan I have for some community education/discussion around immigration issues (more to come....)

10. Top Secret Birthday Related Plan! (Can't tell you yet)

An interesting 2010 article from Philip Gourevitch in the New Yorker: Can you provide humanitarian aid without

facilitating conflicts?

Yes, my brain all day has been: marathon, marathon, marathon....I've listened to some of my current favorite running songs, and keep thinking, "I can't wait till I'm in that zone, I can't wait to just run for 5 hrs, to just be present in my body for 5 hours...." Guess I've got the running bug for sure...

Image: source.

Wow. Outrageous. F**k you, Texas: Texas May Ban Transgender Marriages: "Texas lawmakers are trying to repeal a state law that allows transgender people to legally marry spouses of the opposite sex. Not only would this prevent trans people from marrying their partners — some worry it might invalidate existing marriages."

"What the history of the word OK can tell us about American concision, psychology, and language."

I not only disagree with "Secure Communities," it also seems to be ineffective: Noncriminals swept up in federal deportation program: "Secure Communities, a federal program launched in 2008 with the stated goal of identifying and deporting more illegal immigrants 'convicted of serious crimes,' has netted many noncriminals or those who committed misdemeanors."

Hafiz, "The Gift"

We have not come here to take prisoners
But to surrender ever more deeply
to freedom and joy.

We have not come into this exquisite world
to hold ourselves hostage from love. Run, my dear,
from anything that may not strengthen
your precious budding wings,

Run like hell, my dear,
from anyone likely to put a sharp knife
into the sacred, tender vision
of your beautiful heart.

We have a duty to befriend
those aspects of obedience
that stand outside of our house
and shout to our reason
"oh please, oh please
come out and play."

For we have not come here to take prisoners,
or to confine our wondrous spirits,
But to experience ever and ever more deeply
our divine courage, freedom,
and Light!

The decision of Paul Clement to leave King & Spalding following the firms withdrawal from the DOMA case is a fascinating storm of questions about the ethics of representation. Although I'm obviously very much not in support of DOMA, I do think there are some potentially serious issues with K&S deciding to withdraw because of public pressure. First of all, they knew what they were signing on for, so what changed? Only public pressure, I assume. And is public pressure enough reason to sever representation of a client? I wouldn't think so....

Image: source.

Easter As a Story of Criminal Injustice

Training: this morning I took a fairly leisurely (although largely uphill) 5 mile walk up to and through the Park. A relaxing and (gently) invigorating start to the day. 6 days till the Marathon!

Today I finally withdrew from a volunteer obligation that had been stressing me out for months. While I enjoyed the experience itself, I found myself repeatedly stressed about missing the appointment, preparing for it, not having time for it, etc. Eventually I had to pull the plug. It's one part of an ongoing issue I have, which I like to call: "Overcommit, Underperform." I find that my enthusiasm makes me want to do Everything! But then I take on too much and end up not doing a great job at anything....and being stressed, and feeling guilty, letting people down, and generally not getting anything out of the experience. So, I'm trying to change that. Trying to be more careful with what I take on, and managing my own (and others') expectations. Not easy. Such is adulthood!

From the WSJ: Can Needles Soothe Wounded Warriors? "Military doctors in Afghanistan are using acupuncture to treat brain injuries, with promising results"

Lucinda Williams on Mountain Stage.

I want a standing desk!

"From 344 pounds to a 4:08 marathon."

Image: source.

Training: I tried to go to the gym today but it was closed for Easter. Then, I got dressed for a hike, and it started pouring. Thwarted again! So I decided it was the perfect time to try out the Jillian Michaels DVDs I got recently. Somehow I figured out how to work the TV (seriously, I've never seen such a confusing set up as the one at my current house), and I did the Level 1 workout from 30 Day Shred - and it was great! It's only 20 min long and she alternates between a few minutes of cardio, a few of strength, and a few for abs. It moves quickly, she's motivational, and you can make it more or less challenging based on your fitness level. A good choice for when you just need to fit in a short workout. Tonight I'm heading to Bikram, which never ceases to be a daunting prospect...it's so challenging, physically and mentally.

“I have a duty to speak the truth as I see it and share not just my triumphs, not just the things that felt good, but the pain, the intense, often unmitigated pain. It is important to share how I know survival is survival and not just a walk through the rain.” - Audre Lorde

"A hundred years ago, little boys wore pink and little girls wore blue—if their clothing was gendered at all. It wasn't always. In fact, a heavy emphasis on gendered clothing for children under the age of 6 is a relatively recent phenomenon."

Interesting discussion of "Morality, Happiness, and Self Esteem": "Is it healthy for modern parents to be focused on their children’s self-esteem? [A recent column] wonders whether our culture’s intoxication with self-esteem and being 'special' is eroding our ability to be good citizens."

Image: source.

I'd heard good things about Friday Night Lights for a while, and I don't know why I never watched it before. But one of my good friends has gotten hooked recently, so I decided to check it out. And, woah, I'm addicted! Sort of embarrassing to admit but....I'm on my 5th episode in a row, as I type.

Last night I cooked up a batch of Creamy Curried Veggies from How It All Vegan. Hoping it makes for good lunches this week.

Training: Friday was bootcamp and then an hour of zumba after work. Yesterday, I ran 10 miles this morning, my last long-ish run before the marathon next Sunday. I'm starting to get really nervous about it (still excited but....nervous).

"Logan Guzman likes to pretend he’s a superhero. One week he’s Spiderman. The next he’s Batman. Whichever hero he embodies, the 4-year-old’s goal is always the same: He wants to save his father. Immigration and Customs Enforcement detained Logan’s dad, Pedro Guzman, 30, in front of the family’s Durham, N.C., home on Sept. 28, 2009. Logan and his mother, Emily, could only look on. 'I was scared, but in the back of my mind I just felt like everything would eventually be OK because I was a citizen and he was married to me,' said Emily Guzman, 33, a mental health therapist who was born and raised in the U.S. Nearly 19 months later, Pedro Guzman is still in immigration custody."

"For years, artist Sarah Hughes has been traveling around the world photographing women (and a few men) in the outfit in which they feel safest and the outfit in which they feel sexiest. Broadly speaking, she found that in places like Sweden, which ranked high for gender equality, the difference between the two outfits was small. The photographs and the interviews alongside them are a way to talk about how persona and sexuality get asserted in public space, and how external considerations like safety and judgment affect them."

Image: source.

Interesting review of Tina Fey's new book with some very good points. I'm definitely a Fey fan, but I appreciate this reviewers critiques and observations about the way Fey often uses self-deprecation to make herself less threatening: "In a culture where powerful women are often perceived as calculating harpies or shrews, Fey presents herself as an outlier. Yet somehow the message for girls looking to follow in her footsteps seems to be: if you are disheveled and anxious enough to appear totally unthreatening to the men who run the show, perhaps you’ll be allowed to join them. Fey is certainly eager to please, but bossy she is not."

Good article: How to Evaluate Disabled Characters in Pop Culture, for Nondisabled Viewers

Oversimplifying Sex Slavery: Demi, Ashton, and Badvocacy: "If you haven’t yet watched the 'Real Men Don’t Buy Girls' campaign from Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher’s DNA Foundation, do. And be prepared to scratch your head, or maybe weep a little bit. Others have already have already pointed out the confusing and offensive messages of the campaign, which feature hunky celebs delivering messages of what real men do (i.e. laundry, cook, iron, read directions, etc.) to suggest what they shouldn’t (i.e. buy girls). Sadly, what surely began with good intentions has become an even better example of what is wrong with celebrity aid today."

Women and anxiety: "Women are twice as prone to anxiety as men...it’s not just that women are actually more anxious because of cultural factors; they’re also perceived as more anxious even when they display the same emotions as men."

Good. 'King & Spalding' Law Firm to Face Backlash Over Defending DOMA

Beautiful (and very informational) cooking blog I've been drooling over: My New Roots.

Totally a minefield we've all struggled to navigate, I think: How To Make A Friend Without Benefits.

Image: source.

Training: great bike rides to and from work yesterday, beautiful and full of nature and just wonderful bookends to the day. Today I went to bootcamp - I almost skipped and slept in, but I'm glad I didnt. 9 days till Marathon Sunday!

My local, beloved, co-op gets a shout out in Gadling!: "Ashland Food Co-op, Oregon: Located just over the California border in the Rogue River Valley, Ashland is famous for its Shakespeare Festival. It also deserves props for the co-op, with its selection of carefully curated local produce, deli, espresso bar, and delicious baked goods. Hippie haters may cringe at the earnestness of the patrons, but grab a seat on the patio, and enjoy the show. The Railroad District neighborhood boasts galleries, artist studios, shops, and restaurants."

Beautiful! Fifty Nests and the Birds Who Built Them.

Wow, fascinating: high school student fakes pregnancy as social test about stereotypes, rumors

I'm about halfway through "Three Cups of Deceit," John Krakauer's detailed and brutal unmasking of "Teagate" - it's pretty enthralling stuff.

Image: source.

I biked into work today, for my second week of bike commuting (since it takes me about an hour each way, and for some other scheduling reasons, I can only do it every Thursday....but I'm trying to at least adhere to that!). The people who went with me last weekend couldn't go, so I was on my own. I was a little nervous that I would wimp out, but I hauled myself out of bed and onto the road (or, bike path, rather) and I'm glad I did - it was a great, quiet start to the day, an hour with nothing to do but watch the birds and listen to the rushing creek. I'm already looking forward to the ride home tonight (even though I'm sore as heck from bootcamp yesterday....)

My mom and I went to see the new Jane Eyre last night. It was good - beautifully filmed, and the lead actress was great (with an excellent smaller role by Judi Dench), but overall we both felt like something was missing. We were a little unconvinced by the actor who played Mr. Rochester and, overall, preferred (the very sexy) William Hurt and this version better (I also just love staring at Charlotte Gainsbourg's face). Still worth seeing if you're into that sort of thing (which I am).

"April 20 (4/20) -- the date unofficially recognized nationwide as marijuana day -- is probably as good a time as any to explore how marijuana arrests in the Unites States exemplify racially skewed policing tactics."

Image: some of the beautiful artwork over at Story Of A Seed.

Amazing. Chrissie Wellington is widely acknowledged as one of the best triathletes ever, breaks records right and left, and still continues to be this positive, humble, and awesome: "As I have said before, my goal is for self-improvement, to do justice to my hard work (and the support of the amazing team of people who surround me) and to continue to challenge my own limits. I never expected to break the World Record at Ironman South Africa, and in doing so I have challenged my own preconceptions about what is possible. I don’t find it easy. I endure highs and lows just like any other athlete, there are times when my body is screaming, when I don’t know if I can finish, and when I question why on earth I am actually putting myself through this torture. But that’s where the mind takes over, and I draw strength and confidence from people who inspire me."

My last meeting today was with a wonderful 17 year-old girl who was brought to this country when she was only a few months old. She's hard-working, responsible, is starting college next year (the first in her family), has never lived anywhere else...and there is NO way for her to work legally, or to become a resident or citizen. She must continue to live in fear, with extremely limited options for her future. Yet another living, breathing example of why this country needs true and comprehensive immigration reform.

"Fill your bowl to the brim / and it will spill. / Keep sharpening your knife / and it will blunt. / Chase after money and security / and your heart will never unclench. / Care about people’s approval / and you will be their prisoner. / Do your work, then step back. / The only path to serenity." [Lao Tsu]

Basically my thought process these days is: "marathon, marathon, marathon, marathon...." I just want to do it! At first I wanted to do it because I was worried about something happening between now and then, or because of fear, but now I'm just excited - I love racing, I love being surrounded by people all working towards a goal, I love running (WHAT???), and I love the feeling of having achieved a really freakin' hard goal. 10 days to go till I achieve the goal of a lifetime!

Training: made it to Bikram last night - as always, it was a challenge to my body and brain, both. This morning: bootcamp.

Image: source.

Street Harassment: The Uncomfortable Walk Home: "This epidemic has serious consequences: University of Connecticut researchers found that “the experience of street harassment is directly related to greater preoccupation with physical appearance and body shame, and is indirectly related to heightened fears of rape.” In a country where one in three women is sexually assaulted in her lifetime, such fears are not unfounded. Unfortunately, the average street corner catcaller is oblivious to this reality. Recently, a young man on a bicycle followed me up my own street. When I asked him to leave me alone, he was surprised and seemed even embarrassed, as if it had never occurred to him that a woman wouldn’t enjoy being chased at night. Though many catcallers don’t have nefarious intentions, they don’t put themselves in our shoes. Too often, it’s a long, uncomfortable walk home."

The HIV ban, the lack of options for gay immigrants, the overwhelming bureaucracy...."Eighteen years. It took Andrew Sullivan [of the Daily Beast] eighteen years to legally immigrate to the United States . . . Sullivan explains living in the U.S. with such uncertainty: How do you live somewhere for a majority of your existence and still not know if you could remain for another year, another month, as each visa was sent for adjudication and each trip abroad became full of foreboding. And as the time went by, as the stakes grew, as I put down deeper and deeper roots of work, of friends and of family, the fear actually intensified. It isn’t a huge leap to imagine his plight without an immigration lawyer, without the means to pay the lawyer and the exorbitant fees. Just an average person, trying to make a living for themselves and their family in the most prosperous place in the world. The system is broken and Sullivan’s story is an understatement of that fact."

From The American Prospect: Deporting the Lowest-Level Offenders: Newly released records show how often immigration officials deport people for minor offenses.

The complete list of 2011 Pulitzer Prize winners.

Dr. King on Meet the Press.

Image: source. So true.

The always entertaining and brilliant Geoff Dyer tells us what he's been reading.

Listening to: The Mountain Goats Tiny Desk Concert.

Training: spin class this morning, Bikram tonight (and boy do I need it).

Love these beautiful little can gardens.

“In order to arrive at what you do not know / You must go by a way which is the way of ignorance. / In order to possess what you do not possess / You must go by the way of dispossession. / In order to arrive at what you are not / You must go through the way in which you are not. / And what you do not know is the only thing you know / And what you own is what you do not own / And where you are is where you are not.” - T.S. Eliot, from his poem “East Coker”