More of the Wonderful Maira Kalman

When You Were Mine, I Used To Let You Wear All My Clothes

Absolutely loving these fabric necklaces!  Very cool and practical (yet bold) accessory.  Might have to splurge for one this summer (maybe a b-day gift to myself!)  I can see myself wearing it often.

More wisdom from Cardboard Love.

Towleroad: Australia to Recognize Same-Sex Marriages in Some Transgender Cases.

Ruffles, ruffles, ruffles.

ABA Journal: Lawyers and depression.

Ringing particularly true to me these days: Roomates....forever?  "Thought you'd leave your roommates behind after your career got going? Think again. Social mobility ain't what it used to be."

It is better to travel well than to arrive. - Buddha

Somebody Told Me That This Planet Was Small

Great vintage inspired swimsuits.

Some vintage girl power from Sesame Street.

Left: Everything I Have.

Tough questions: what to do with kids who kill?

Interesting: what effect would "unbranding" cigarettes have on their sale/proliferation?

HuffPo: Gays In Latin America: Gay Rights Movement Coming Out Into The Mainstream.

Idolator: Ready to feel old?  'Things Fall Apart' Turns Ten.  Man, I have to agree, this does make me feel old. This was the soundtrack to my freshman year of college...1999...!

The Technium: "Everything is so amazing and nobody is happy.": "It is true. We take for granted the miracles we get from technology, and complain when the miracles aren't perfect. This comedian's routine on the Conan O'Brien show is funny, mocking our ingratitude. I post it here because the rant is a cartoon version of a more serious argument that we become blind to progress."

Song I'm loving: "Gone Sugaring" (Mirah)

Aren't You Going To Hold Your Hands Up To The Light?

I love this ode for reminding me of the complete awesomeness that is Octavia Butler. I'll always be greatful to the anthropology professor that first got me to read her....even if he was sort of a jerk.

The possessions of homeless individuals are not trash.

NM Senate Kills Bill Giving Equal Rights To Gays.

Um, AWESOME?!  Star Trek (TNG) Reunion on Family Guy?

This is troubling: "Obama's 2010 health and human services budget includes not one reference to comprehensive sex education, and says only that the budget "will fund models that stress the importance of abstinence while providing medically-accurate and age-appropriate information to youth who have already become sexually active."

Left: Marco Cibola.

“Maybe the best thing would be to forget being right or wrong about people and just go along for the ride. But if you can do that — well, lucky you.” - Philip Roth

from Etsy.

I Know All About It, So You Don't Have To Shout It

An all-too-familiar law student lament....

Will never be able to swing the prices (see above lament, and general common sense) but am loving the fashions over at Mociun...especially this adorable dress!  Oooooh and this one...

Left.

Build your own castle!  Or built one for me! (Although, let's be real, it would probably be used to store clothes...)

Interesting.  From the WSJ Law Blog, "LA to Sex Perps: 'Welcome to John School'."

Generally not into fashion spreads, but I keep coming back to this one again and again.

The Selby Couples, guaranteed to inspire lust and envy.

More on the jailing of teens and "the poisoning of public purpose."

"Jewelry for the home" is a perfect description for these chandeliers...I like to imagine that with a hot glue gun, a basic chandelier, and some spray paint I could recreate something similar....

I do love me a trench coat.  Mine is navy, gotten on sale from Banana Republic (there wasn't a lot of demand for coats at the Puerto Rico BR) and every time I put it on I feel so stylish, sleek, and attractive.  The unbuttoned but cinched with a belt look is my favorite...

Songs of the day: "Elvis" (The Everybody Fields), "Iowa" (Dar Williams), "Fidelity" (Regina Spektor),"Shiver" (Giant Sand).

Will Definitely Come In Handy.

Universally Speaking

Envy inducing - creative work spaces from Martha Stewart.

Incredible paper art.

Love the image left.

Awesome movie.

Beautiful silhouettes.

Days With My Father: one man's moving photographic journal of life with his elderly father.

Alternet: It's Time To Recommit to the Fight Against HIV/AIDS.

What is it about French women and their style?

BoingBoing: website to tilt-shift your photos.

Absolutely amazing ring.

“Civil disobedience, that’s not our problem. Our problem is that people are obedient all over the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves, and all the while the grand thieves are running the country. That’s our problem.” - Howard Zinn

Lizzie Fortunato Jewels

I'm totally blown away by Lizzie Fortunado's jewelry!  I love the ones pictured (which Refinery 29 featured but I can't find on the Lizzie Fortunado website).  Also awesome: the Layla Necklace and the Collar Necklaces.  I don't even want to know how much they cost...

Pretty Young Thing

This person makes capes for kids!  Love it!

From places I've lived, to places I love, and places to which I keep returning, there's a tote bag for all of it...

Adorable tip for organization and reusing buttons.

A stunning cabin in Maine.  wow.

Brightening your door = excellent.

Yay!  GoogleMaps gets a public transit layer.

Feministe: "Hopefully, all of us here can agree that the United State’s current policies surrounding prosecuting undocumented immigrants for entering the country, and the ways that those immigrants are treated while in custody, are cruel, inhumane and blatantly racist. But this NY Times article also takes the time to highlight how these prosecutions inevitably take resources away from prosecuting, you know, real crime."

“Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.” - Henry Miller

from Black Eiffel.

Modern Romantic

 The discovery of Ruche.com has made me eager to discover my floral, flouncy, and romantic side.  Everything in this spread is from the website (except the gold necklace - its from F21, and just went with the outfit so well)!  And it's all under $60!  The wildly patterned dress is so unique and those studded boots are to die for.  The paper bag skirt comes in a few different colors, and seems like the perfect comfy but not stuffy spring-to-fall piece.  This site will be hard to stay away from...!

Frank Chimero makes posters.

Big Black Hole & The Little Baby Star

A Multi-State Study of Domestic Violence Shelter Experiences.

Behind lock and key: CVS Limited Condom Access for Some.  "This is bad public health policy, period. Condoms are the most effective method, other than abstinence (which “fails” more often), at preventing STDs and HIV/AIDS. They are also the most effective non-hormonal method of preventing pregnancy, and one of the most popular contraceptive methods overall. Condoms are, in fact, a public health imperative."

Remind yourself - your heart is your friend.

From the NYTimes: "During an exam, does your doctor actually examine you? A boon in medical technology, scans and tests has changed how doctors practice medicine. The result: many doctors no longer touch their patients."

Part-time workers have always been taken advantage of, and the plummeting economy will only increase both the number of part-time workers and the difficulty of their fight for benefits.

Beautiful prints from Etsy shop MisterRob.  This one is stunning.

From NYTimes: Film Examines a Newark Hate Crime: "In 2003, Sakia Gunn, a 15-year-old lesbian high school student, was fatally stabbed in downtown Newark by a man who had approached her in the street and made sexual advances to her and her friends, which they declined."

“To understand everything is to forgive everything” - Buddha

From artist Jen Renninger: Everything Is Going To Be OK.

You'll Find A Way

Design*Sponge's guide to Miami: Part I and Part II.

Academic Earth collects thousands of video lectures from the world’s top scholars.

Great hair pins, headbands and jewelry from HandleSpout.

Left: amazing paper art from artist Lizzie Thomas.

As a list-maker, I liked this: 10 Reasons Why We Love Making Lists, from NPR.

Alleged moderate conservative shows his true colors when commenting on gay marriage - "What, are you crazy?"

From Jezebel: "A new bill in Washington state could extend protection of domestic violence victims to cover their pets. If passed, restraining orders would now require the abuser to cease all contact with jointly owned animals." This might sound odd, but not only are people inclined towards violence towards human also inclined to be violent towards pets, but also pets sometimes become a way of hurting or controlling a partner in intimate violence situations. I think the law is a great indication that lawmakers are beginning to understand the complexity of domestic violence situations.

Inspiration Board from Broke & Beautiful: Old Lady Chic

Via Broke & Beautiful.

“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”*

A new website about my favorite city, Paris.

Chicago Police Superintendent won't release list of most reported cops.

NYTime's Motherload: Is a Disabled TV Character Too Much for Toddlers?

Customized Eames Shell Chairs (I like the one that looks like it's dipped in chocolate!).

So amazingly out of my price range, but I can appreciate them nonetheless - Jennifer Behr's hair accessories.

Gorgeous new heels from NineWest....I dream of finding a blue pair on sale....someday.

The Bilerico Project: A Plea for Putting Health Care at the Center of Our Movement.

From the Valentine's Day episode of This American Life: "Each of the show's three vignettes focuses on someone "searching for people who will understand them like no one else does." The first and third segments are about more traditional, straight, romantic love (albeit with the quirkiness of most This American Life stories). The second segment, however, is about friendship, specifically the friendship between two eight-year-old transgender children, born biologically male, but who identify as girls. The rare and brilliant part is that the producers not only let their parents speak, but also let the girls themselves share their thoughts. It's both heartwrenching and inspiring."

* Mark Twain

Isn't It Romantic

Postlapsaria: Loving this site, especially the accessories!  Coveting this headband...

The site's creator, Keiko Lynn, has awesome style and a great blog to provide fashion inspiration - check it out.

You Commie Homo-Loving Sons of Guns

Uh oh, a new affordable online clothing shop to get me in trouble!  Ruche.com is a bit romantic for my taste, but there are still some great finds.  Check out this ruffled dress for $34, this purple dress for $39, and this great fushia bag, $38.

Left: back to Boston in 5 days...

Hard to look at but important to remember - the Jim Crow Museum of Racist Memorabilia at Ferris State.

From Freakonomics: When Will Emergency Rooms Go Back To Being Emergency Rooms?

In honor of my favorite scientist, Ms. Phoebe, science tattoos from Boing Boing!

Towleroad: Idaho Senate Rejects Bill Forbidding Sexual Orientation Discrimination.

I always forget to carry an umbrella when I need one, but I've seen a lot of parasols in Florida recently (old ladies rock the ruffled ones!) and they've got me reconsidering the accessory...

Yay!  Public elementary schools that integrate dance, music, and art.

"...and the great advantage of being a literary woman, was that you could go everywhere and do everything." - Henry James (The Portrait of a Lady)

Let's Just Take The Train, I'll Meet Up With The Band In The Norning

Feminist Law Professors: Top Ten Cited Women Law Professors.

Alexander McQueen for Target is almost here!

Left: photo credit.

Alternet: America's Immigration Gulags Overflowing With Mentally Ill Prisoners.

Via GeekSugar, I Used To Believe, "a collaborative website where people post what their childhood misconceptions and beliefs were."

NYTimes: Children In The Mental Health Void: "This problem of lack of access to care – and lack of access to truly good care – is the real mental health “epidemic” affecting children in our time."

Roundus lets you browse and share panoramic images of places around the world!

Beautiful fringe necklaces from I Heart Norwegian Wood.  Via Another Shade of Grey.

I'm with Gawker - bring back the not-quite-so-disturbing Sex Diaries of yore!  The recent ones are just out of control...

“There are cracks in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” - Leonard Cohen

The Primaries

 In my ongoing quest to conquer my fear of the color yellow, I was playing around  a bit with what shades might complement the bold hue.  I think black is just asking for a bee comparison and, besides, seems a bit severe.   And that's when navy presented itself.  This month I got the navy skirt pictured here and it has been a surprisingly flexible part of my wardrobe.  I like the idea of sticking with completely different colors and adding this red handbag as an accessory, with these white earrings and scarf as accents.  The navy and white polka dotted shoes are yet another Payless discovery.  Now I just have to wait for the sun to come out in Boston and I can try out these outfits off the page...

Earrings (F21), blue and yellow shirts (F21), skirts (F21), bag (Mat & Nat), shoes (Payless.com), scarf (F21).

"If Harvey had not been taken from us 30 years ago, I think he'd want me to say to all of the gay and lesbian kids out there tonight who have been told that they are less than by their churches or by the government or by their families that you are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value and that no matter what anyone tells you, God does love you and that very soon, I promise you, you will have equal rights, federally, across this great nation of ours." - From Dustin Lance Black's acceptance speech for Best Screenplay Oscar

As If I'd Never Noticed The Way She Brushed Her Hair From Her Forehead

WSJ.com: Elderly Emerge As A New Class of Workers - And The Jobless.

Interesting (maybe to law students only)!  From Feminist Law Professors: I Don't Give A Damn 'Bout My Bad Reputation: Julia Simon-Kerr's 'Unchaste and Incredible' and the Development of the Character Evidence Rules.

To me, these are dreamy beyond words: The Oregon Cottage Company's beautiful creations.

Who did, and did not, publish the leaked photo of Rihanna - a partial list.

Eery, beautiful, haunting...Undersea Photography.

The Book Cover Archive!

From NPR, Six Word Memoirs.  "Once asked to write a full story in six words, legend has it that novelist Ernest Hemingway responded: 'For Sale: baby shoes, never worn.'"

Corporette: When it comes to heels in the workplace, how high is too high?

I got oddly excited about this: Has Google Ocean Found the Missing City of Atlantis?

Salon: The Economy Is A Feminist Issue.

Fanatics Don't Let Their Babies Go Dancing

The kids book 10,000 Dresses Celebrates Transgender Children.

"Asian Immigration: A Family Affair, A Chicago Perspective": Bringing attention to the Asian immigration experience.

More color, font, and design inspiration: The Vintage Drug Stores Flikr Pool.

Alternet: Why Did The Gov't Wait Five Years To Release A Study On Suicides By Youth In Prison?

I loved Cats Eye and I love her even more now: Margaret Atwood Pulls Out of Dubai Book Fest Over Gay Book Ban.

Feministing: Tenn. Bill Targets Low Income Women with Mandatory Drug Tests.

From the Philadelphia Weekly, a powerful piece about the author's brother David, who has been diagnosed with acute bipolar disorder.

Awesome: Harvard Book Store Ships Books By Bike.

Looking Good for Less

I have to admit - I haven't stepped into a Payless Shoes since my sandals broke in PR and I refused to walk the streets barefoot all the way home (which sounds prissy but, trust me, was only wise). That said, I walked by one of their stores today and was really surprised by the adorable shoes in the window! Sure there is still a lot that is unimpressive and I'm sure they probably aren't going to win any awards for durability, but you could do a lot worse in the affordable shoe department! Plus they have Buy One Get One (or BOGO, as they call it) sales all the time....and who doesn't love that. I think I will have to give in and make a purchase sometime soon...I'm leaning towards either the periwinkle mary janes (the color!!) or the t-front ruffled black heels....

All shoes from Payless, available online, and under $30!
Colorful background by Paola Guimerans)

Where Connections Were Most Frequently Missed

Stooping To New Lows

I'm overwhelmed by how upset I am by the release of photos taken by the police of Rihanna when they arrested Chris Brown for allegedly assaulting her.  (The page I link to is merely New York Magazine reporting the news, not the photo itself. I see no need to perpetuate the publicity of the image).  TMZ, the notoriously trashy celebrity news agency (owned by AOL), released the image today - it shows a young woman obviously upset, scared, and recently crying, bruised and injured.  The fact that this was leaked by someone and published by TMZ depresses and angers me beyond belief.  It violates her privacy, it jeopardizes a potential case against her abuser, and it is simply unethical.  In addition, it will have the effect of scaring off yet more victims of domestic violence from reporting their abuse.  If people don't feel they can trust the police - and plenty of people already don't, for good reason - they will be less and less inclined to report abuse and seek help.  The person who leaked the photo, and everyone at TMZ, should be ashamed of themselves.  And those of us who visit celebrity gossip sites like TMZ should think long and hard about our role as consumers of this trash.

Update from Feministe: "It’s bad enough that her name was released, when it should not have been. This woman was clearly attacked, in what is very strongly believed to be an intimate partner violence incident. She is dealing with more than enough, and more than she or any other woman should ever have to deal with. Every woman deserves some sense of privacy in a situation like this, no matter how famous she is. Every woman in this situation deserves our support. And every woman in this situation should get to decide for herself how public she wants to be about it, and whether or not she is portrayed in this way. Not you. Not me. Not some stupid entertainment website that clearly just wants to make a profit. Just her. Her, and only her."

Get To Work!

This outfit, as you can see, was inspired by my love of the "sexy librarian" look captured so well by these short-sleeved sweaters from F21 (as always, click on the photo to see larger).  In addition to red and green, they also come in a great magenta and a basic white. Because I love choice, I made two different outfits, both of which I think would be well complimented by this classic trench, black handbag, and gold bracelet. I'm on a flats kick right now, hence the addition of these adorable and yet sensible black flats from Target, however I also have a crush on these incredibly versatile nude pumps from Old Navy. Just add a cardigan of your choice (and maybe tights if you are in the North) and you're ready to get to work!

From L to R, clockwise: black bag (Urban Outfitters), red and green sweaters (F21, $15 each), trench (Old Navy, $49), brown skirt (F21, $19), nude pumps (Old Navy, $19), grey skirt (F21, $19), black flats (Target), bracelet (F21, yipes, sold out already! But this one would be great too, in a different way).

Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town

North Dakota, you are freakin' me out!  "If a bill that passed the North Dakota House on Tuesday also makes it through the Senate, the state's population is about to expand substantially overnight. According to that bill, "any organism with the genome of homo sapiens" should be considered a person deserving of Constitutional protection. Translation: Fertilized eggs are people, too." From Salon: Broadsheet.  From Feministe: North Dakota House Passes Bill Giving Rights To Fertilized Eggs.  AAAAHHH!

Lipstick Lobbyist on Nancy Pelosi's visit to the Vatican.

This article got me super excited about thrifting again...not that it takes much to get me excited about that, but...From Eco Chick.

From the Budget Smart Girl's Guide to the Universe: Coupons!

Super awesome feminist hero clothes at KMStitchery!  Do I want the Frida Kahlo hoodie, the Emma Goldman shirt, or the Angela Davis tee....hmmmm....at left, the Bella Abzug!  From the ever-wonderful Bitch Magazine.

Budget Fashion Report loves ModCloth too and puts together a sweet Mad Men inspired outfit from their finds.  I was totally checking out those shoes!

I'm still working up the courage to try brightly colored tights, but for those of you a few steps ahead of me, check out these tips on where to get affordable pairs (and know I'm impressed by your bravery!)...

From Feministing: Resisting Foreclosures Together, community-based action I love.

No Easy Answers

WSJ: After Prison, Few Places for Sex Offenders to Live.  I know that sex offenders are perhaps the most unpopular population in the United States, but I also feel strongly that there are so many reasons for all of us to care.  First of all, sex offenders are still human - once they have paid their debt to society, they deserve a shot at another life.  Second, not all sex offenses are created "equal" - many labeled sex offenders, like the man in the WSJ story above, were themselves victims of overzealous prosecution (in the WSJ story, he was 17, she was 14, it was consensual and they later wed).  Third, if you are truly concerned about public safety, you would do well to consider that homeless sex offenders are even harder to keep track of for parole and law enforcement, and have a harder time reincorporating themselves into post-prison life than those with a stable home and job.  Finally, if we truly care about stopping sex offenses and better improving our communities for everyone, we would pay more attention to the way prison is conducted - the way prisons are currently run, they do little to prepare prisoners for the world outside of prison or help them address psychological and mental health issues.  Re-entry work - especially for sex offenders - might not be an easy subject, but it cannot be ignored.

See also: NYTimes, Sex Offenders Living Under Miami Bridge.

NPR: Miami Sex Offenders Sleep Under Bridge.

Miami New Times (photo above): Sex Offenders Say There's No More Room Under The Bridge.

Lust For Life

A stimulus for schools?  Makes sense to me.

Great advice on starting an Etsy business.

The Volokh Conspiracy: Do judges make better Justices?

Proving you don't have to spend a lot of money on supplies to make awesome art...

Left: love this photo!  The green bathing suit, the vintage style, the red lips...

Murder of Muslim-American Woman Sparks Media Frenzy: Tragic story, really interesting article about media coverage...

On that same, heartbreaking note, Domestic Abuse Rises As Economy Falters.

AlterNet: Are unions making a comeback?

Brazen Careerist: 6 Ways To Create Sexual Tension At Work: I think this is a really dicey article and, while I get her point, a dangerous idea.  I don't have anything against mild flirtation but even that much at work is asking for trouble.  Especially for young women entering the workplace, I think everyone should err on the side of caution and formality.  Many women already (consciously or unconsciously) think that flirtation is the only way to win people over or make good connections.  To encourage this is to not only encourage potential incidents of sexual harassment, but is also to undervalue relationships based on mutual respect.  Also, even if you and your flirtee (?) are in agreement about the appropriateness of your relationship, don't forget others are watching you and basing their judgement of you and your work on your behavior.  To all the young women out there, I'm telling you: it's not worth it.  The thrill of flirtation is not worth the potential loss of respect in the workplace, the loss of a friend when signals are crossed, or the loss of a job opportunity.

And on that note...Teen Sexual Harassment at Work - An Underreported Scandal.

Feministing: Las Vegas Cracks Down On Sex Workers...and Publishes Their Photos.  Oh, were you looking for the photos of the men who hired and payed them?  Or their pimps?  Keep looking.

Fat Girls Like Nice Clothes Too!  I like her blog and I laughed (in a "wow, I totally relate" way) to her recent post on nautical themes..."I fall for it every time. As soon as we get to the end of January I seem to think that spring has started and I go all stupid over nautical inspired fashion. I’m not a sailor. I’ve never even been on a boat in my adult life so why is it that at the same time each year I come over all Popeye and want to buy every red white and blue garment I can see?"  I seriously purchase a blue and white striped, boatneck shirt every season, convinced it is the key to my wardrobe...and promptly ditch it in the closet.  Sigh.  When will I learn?

Louise Only Got From Me Innocent Poetry

News flash! Even Gov. Palin's daughter admits her mom's ideas about teen abstinence are "not realistic at all."  Get with the program, everyone!

Left: what I thought high school was going to be like - reality was a harsh blow!  Long live Ferris Bueller!

Yellow stays strong as the pop color of the season.  I don't think I have any on my wardrobe, which means I'll be on the look out for some yellow spring shoes or a bag...or maybe, on my budget, a yellow headband...

Boston Herald: Ex-inmates hope for help after leaving prison.

The article is a bit cheesy and simplistic but I did appreciate someone taking out the time to thank construction workers.  As the proud step-daughter of a life-long laborer, I agree that they are under-appreciated and undervalued.  Additionally, I go crazy every time someone whines about the laws concerning slowing down in construction zones - and the high cost of tickets for violating these laws.  Think about if it was your father or daughter on the side of the road, with drunk or distracted drivers whizzing by all day.  So take the time and slow down, don't whine about your drive taking 5 minutes more, and appreciate the hard work of construction workers.

The NYTimes Article Skimmer.

Defamer: McFlurryGate!  30 Rock and product placement.

An interview with the always-inspiring Maya Angelou.  I particularly liked/felt her advice for people going through hard times: Well, I would say, look what you've already come through! Don't deny it. You've already come through some things, which are very painful. If you've been alive until you're 35, you have gone through some pain. It cost you something. And you've come through it. So at least look at that. And have a sense to look at yourself and say, 'Well, wait a minute. I'm stronger than I thought I was.' . . . So we need to not be in denial about what we've done, what we've come through. It will help us if we all do that."

“It takes a long time to grow young.” - Pablo Picasso

Simply Amazing.*

* Thanks ELM.

Listen!

"Carson, California has over 1,100 homes in foreclosure according to its mayor, and barricaded inside one of them was Frank Torres, an oil-refinery worker who lost his home to foreclosure after work was scarce last year. Now he's working full-time and he wants to buy his house back — but he says the bank won't listen. That's why he painted a message on the roof of his former home and held the building hostage for 5 hours." from Consumerist.

"To have that sense of one’s intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything: the ability to discriminate, to love and to remain indifferent. To lack it is to be locked within oneself, paradoxically incapable of either love or indifference.

If we do not respect ourselves, we are on the one hand forced to despise those who have so few resources as to consort with us, so little perception as to remain blind to our fatal weaknesses. On the other, we are peculiarly in thrall to everyone we see, curiously determined to live out—since our self-image is untenable—their false notion of us.

We flatter ourselves by thinking this compulsion to please others an attractive trait: a gist for imaginative empathy, evidence of our willingness to give. Of course I will play Francesca to your Paolo, Helen Keller to anyone’s Annie Sullivan; no expectation is too misplaced, no role too ludicrous.

At the mercy of those we cannot but hold in contempt, we play roles doomed to failure before they are begun, each defeat generating fresh despair at the urgency of divining and meting the next demand made upon us. It is the phenomenon sometimes called “alienation from self.” In its advanced stages, we no longer answer the telephone, because someone might want something; that we could say no without drowning in self-reproach is an idea alien to this game.

Every encounter demands too much, tears the nerves, drains the will, and the specter of something as small as an unanswered letter arouses such disproportionate guilt that answering it becomes out of the question. To assign unanswered letters their proper weight, to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves—there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect.

Without it, one eventually discovers the final turn of the screw: one runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home."

- Joan Didion, Slouching Towards Bethlehem

“We don’t see the things they are, we see them as we are”*

NYTimes: A change in Facebook policies has users (including me) concerned.

World Press photo winners.

I agree with Darling Dexter (great site!), say yes to wide leg pants!  I used to be worried they made me look to stumpy, but I'm all about embracing them this spring...

Guilt inducing: Hamburgers are the Hummers of the food world.

The surprisingly accurate Trilogy Meter!

Ian McEwan Sheltered Salman Rushdie After Fatwa Was Issued.

From the wonderful Tiny House Blog, the beautiful cabin designs of Ross Chapin - from Oregon, of course!

Employee Evolution: 6 ways to fit in when you're the youngest person in the room.

Feministe: Formerly incarcerated and economic justice.

A different take on the work-life balance.

What about the freedom NOT to marry? "I have been saying for years that this idea of a choice to marry is illusory. As long as marriage is the only way to garner economic security and emotional peace of mind -- not because it's natural but because our laws and policies make it that way -- marriage isn't a choice, for straight or gay couples."

 *Anais Nin

Shoe Fetish

Found these beautiful periwinkle pumps on ModCloth and couldn't believe how many things they would look adorable with.  (They also come in red...and I do love a red shoe...)  So I decided they warranted their very own post. I thought they would improve each of these dresses in different ways, from the casual to the dressy.  The top gold dress is also from ModCloth, as is the red one.  As you can see, the site has a great retro flare.  The bottom dresses are a more affordable - the black one is a strapless eyelet (click on the photo for more detail) from F21 an the yellow ruffle dress is from Delias (it also comes in white).  These shoes and dresses make me think this spring is going to be pretty femme-y for me...should be fun!

Shoes (ModCloth, $89), gold dress (ModCloth, $75), red dress (ModCloth, $75), yellow dress (Delias, $49), black dress (F21, $27).

The Least Complicated

Not a bad idea at all: Should Personal Finance 101 Be Required for High School Graduation?

I think maybe I could live in this nook.

Rethinking the food pyramid - is mindful eating the missing ingredient?

Charlie Harper mural!

The Floridians behind Amendment 2 are back.

Amazing wallpaper!

The Bilerico Project: HRC Throws Trans Health Equity Under the Bus - Again: This week, the Human Rights Campaign released its 2009 State of the Workplace report and Corporate Equality Index (CEI) ratings of large US employers for GLBT inclusive policies and practices . . . Despite years of objection by health advocates for the trans-community, the HRC continues to omit medically necessary transition care as a requirement for a perfect 100% CEI score. Employees who suffer distress with their physical sex characteristics or ascribed gender role (often termed gender dysphoria) are singled out by many employers for exclusion from coverage for corrective procedures that are not excluded for other employees. By rewarding these employers with 100% scores, the HRC perpetuates this discrimination."

NYTimes: In South Africa, a Justice Delayed Is No Longer Denied: "Edwin Cameron, appointed a High Court judge by Nelson Mandela soon after apartheid ended in 1994, pulled to the side of the road, leaned his head on the steering wheel and was overcome by deep, shattering sobs, he recently recalled. It was 1999 and he had just decided to publicly disclose he was H.I.V.-positive at the very moment he sought to fulfill his life’s ambition: to serve on South Africa’s highest tribunal, the Constitutional Court. “I am not dying of AIDS,” he told the stunned judicial commission that was deciding whether to recommend his elevation. “I am living with AIDS.” On that day a decade ago, he became the first — and still remains the only — senior office holder anywhere in southern Africa, and perhaps in all of Africa, to announce he was infected with H.I.V. Mr. Cameron, hale and hearty at age 55, finally ascended to the Constitutional Court this month."

A Wonderful Map of One of My Favorite Places

Pretty Pretty Pretty Pretty Pretty Pretty Girl

I admit I'd never heard of him till the Inauguration, and I'm not happy about his fur line (which he has postponed...) but these looks from Jason Wu are absolutely gorgeous.

I've never really gotten the obsession with Marilyn Monroe, but I do love this photo (left)...

I probably just like this article because I think Barcelona is amazing, but also I could use some photo-taking tips...

A great knockoff!  Go Jane strikes again...

Dealing with the downturn: Simpson Thatcher takes an interesting approach...

Roald Dahl's "writing hut."  Nice to see this creative genius is a filthy slob, just like you and...ok, maybe me.

More beautiful opening sequences from The Art of the Title Sequence.  This time from Lolita and Saturday Night Fever.

Neck of State: a blog devoted to the tie choices of President Obama.

Son of T.D. Jakes Arrested in Gay Sex Sting.  I will leave out my commentary on this one...for now.

Accuracy and straight-talk in sex education?  Craziness!

About loving life: Feminism.

Hawaii House Passes Civil Union Bill: "The bill, which now moves to the state Senate, would grant partners in civil unions the same benefits, protections and responsibilities as married couples under state law. The state would also recognize civil unions, domestic partnerships and same-sex marriages performed in other states. Partners in civil unions would not have the same protections as married couples under federal law, so the recognition is a rung below treating homosexual and heterosexual couples equally."

The Sacred And The Profane

A glimmer of hope?  The St. Petersburg Times: "New Ideas On Prisons": "Florida's budget crisis may bring a modicum of reasonableness to the debate over criminal justice policy. Instead of the "tough on crime" mantra that politicians spout to win elections and that usually leads to more prison beds, suggestions are cropping up for alternatives as a way to save big bucks. These ideas are not percolating up from liberal sources alone. Some of the most ardent supporters for a more measured approach to crime and criminals include a conservative Republican lawmaker and a fiscal watchdog group."

Great article: "There isn't a yes or no in your career - there are opportunities, decisions, and shifts."

A follow-up to Glamours article about abortion: "Speaking Out About An Abortion Can Be Harder Than Getting One."

Awesome necklace (and affordable!) from BunnyLuxe's Etsy shop!

News out of Boston: "The state's highest court today struck down a law that allowed the state to keep juvenile offenders in custody for three years after they turned 18, if officials believed they would be 'physically dangerous to the public.'" 

A Japanese rape simulation game?  I didn't want to believe it, but I'm happy to see Amazon has pulled it from sale...

I know this is overpriced and made especially ridiculous by the recession, but I think its gorgeous and classic....so should anyone be looking for a graduation present for me....I'm sure just carrying this bag would guarantee me a job.  I'm sure of it!

Not to be a Scrouge but..."This Valentine's Lingerie Is Brought To You By The Prison Industrial Complex"

I love everything that American RadioWorks does.  Really.  Amazing stuff.  Just today I listened to their report on hospice care.  I have so much respect for people who work in hospice care - thank you, thank you, thank you for helping people leave this world in a peaceful way.  Listening to the program made me grateful for my health and family, and grateful for such compassionate people who would do hospice care.